Austin is weird, Houston is hot,
San Antone is peachy but El Paso's not.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

Just driving by on the interstate,
The view is nice but the smell sure ain't.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

The thing about El Paso, it don't smell like a rose.
It smells like a cow took a dump in your nose.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

Hetty Harper

Hetty Harper went to Slough
I hope she's made it home by now

Unless she slid off in a slough
If so, I don't know what we'll do

Ah, botheration, let it slough
I think I've worried quite enough

If at first...

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again

Even if it makes you bleed, try, try again

Through the brush and through the weeds, try, try again

There's never enough if you're driven by greed, so try, try again

Oh, I am the lazy butt slacker

Oh, I am the lazy butt slacker
I slack all the time, as much as I can
You'll very few as lazy as me
Cause I am the lazy butt slacker man