Austin is weird, Houston is hot,
San Antone is peachy but El Paso's not.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

Just driving by on the interstate,
The view is nice but the smell sure ain't.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

The thing about El Paso, it don't smell like a rose.
It smells like a cow took a dump in your nose.
Oh no, don't go to El Paso.

Hetty Harper

Hetty Harper went to Slough
I hope she's made it home by now

Unless she slid off in a slough
If so, I don't know what we'll do

Ah, botheration, let it slough
I think I've worried quite enough